Next Time, I Won't Bother Being Polite

No.

I'll do the rude thing and say nothing.

Saying the polite thing just got me more heartache.

The answer is no, by the way. I got a mockery of what I asked for, and it still stings. I don't care if I'm the only one who sees it that way. It was, it is, and I wish I'd never seen it.

All I really got was another lesson in how I will never matter to anyone. What I want doesn't matter. I'm not worth the time to do something properly.

And I wish I could get further away from this... the idea of deleting everything, not just my fics but even my email account is so strong...

I know I am acting irrational, and I can't stop myself. It hurts more than it has any right to, and I'm so tired... I thought I was past it, but someone went and reopened the wounds and I'm so angry and hurt all over again, and I can't even explain it and no one will understand it, either.

Why? Why did I not learn my lesson?